Menopause, Grief, and Autoimmunity: Navigating multiple life transitions
World Menopause Month feels very different to me this year. I am moving through menopause while also grieving the loss of my mother and doing both in a body that has lived with autoimmunity for most of my life.
It has made me think about how often we separate these experiences. We talk about menopause as hormones, Grief as emotion, Autoimmunity as the immune system BUT the body doesn’t experience them in separate compartments.
They meet in the same NERVOUS system,
the same SLEEP cycle,
the same ADRENALS and STRESS response,
the same IMMUNE system…
The same BODY that is trying, every day, to maintain balance.
And sometimes, that body is carrying a lot. If you are reading this and feeling the weight of your own overlapping transitions, please know you don’t have to carry it all on your own. I help clients untangle these exact layers, reach out if you need a guide.
Menopause is not simply about declining oestrogen, it is a whole-body physiological transition.
For somebody already living with an autoimmune condition, this changing hormonal environment can feel particularly significant. Medical research increasingly recognizes that shifting hormones impact our baseline stability, specifically, changes in oestrogen and progesterone influence:
Sleep architecture and temperature regulation
Glucose handling and metabolic health
Mood and cognitive function
Connective tissue and bone density
Gut health and immune signalling
Menopause doesn’t necessarily cause autoimmune disease, but the terrain in which the immune system operates is fundamentally changing. The routines, diets, and protocols that previously kept your autoimmunity relatively stable may suddenly need adjusting. If you are experiencing new flare-ups and aren’t sure where to start, let’s look at your unique terrain together.
Grief adds another heavy, physiological layer.
Since losing my mother, I have been reminded that grief is profoundly physical. It is exhaustion that sleep does not always fix. It is waking at strange hours. It is forgetting to eat or not feeling hunger at all. It is a nervous system trying to process something that the mind still cannot quite comprehend.
When sleep, appetite, routine, and emotional regulation are disrupted by grief, the body has fewer resources available for everything else. This matters deeply when you are already navigating the hormonal shifts of menopause, and it matters even more when your immune system has a history of losing tolerance and becoming over-reactive.
The question I keep coming back to is: what does my body need now?
Not what worked five years ago, not what I think I should be able to tolerate, and certainly not how much I can push through. What does this body, in this particular season, need in order to feel safe and supported?
For me, that has meant paying much closer attention to the basics:
Nourishment over restriction: Prioritizing protein and minerals rather than simply counting calories.
Hydration: Staying topped up with water and essential electrolytes.
Rest without guilt: Supporting sleep wherever possible and resting when tired.
Gentle movement: Choosing mobility over demanding peak physical performance.
Nervous system respect: Acknowledging that practices I normally value, like fasting, sometimes need to pause when the physiological context changes.
A health practice can be beneficial in one season and become an additional stressor in another. Figuring out which is which can be overwhelming when you are tired. This is exactly where personalized support becomes invaluable.
One of the greatest lessons autoimmunity has taught me is that the body rarely responds to one isolated thing. There is a constant conversation happening between genetics, hormones, nutrition, immune function, the gut, the nervous system, our environment, and the deeply human experiences we are living through.
Menopause makes that conversation louder, Grief can make it louder still.
Perhaps this stage of life is less about trying to silence every symptom and more about becoming better at listening to what the body is communicating.
This World Menopause Month, I am looking at menopause differently. Not as something my body is failing to cope with, not as another problem to solve, but as a major physiological transition happening alongside one of the deepest emotional transitions of my life.
After decades of living with autoimmunity, I know one thing very clearly: When the load changes, the support has to change too.
Sometimes healing is not about doing more, sometimes it begins with recognising just how much the body is already carrying.
If your load has changed recently – whether through menopause, a new autoimmune flare, or a season of grief, your support system needs to evolve with you. Contact me today to give you some clarity, and let’s work together to give your body exactly what it needs for this new chapter.
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